Brian ‘Streaters’ Streatfield
Streaters was having a nice pint of Uley Bitter with one of his work colleagues in the The Red Lion pub in Arlingham, Gloucestershire, when a gang of shabbily dressed men walked in! Streaters said to his colleague, “Hang on mate, excuse me for a moment, I think I know that man?” And he got up and walked over to the group.
“I say, you’re not ‘Twist’ are you?” Asked Streaters.
“Yes!” said Twist. “Oh My God; it’s Streaters isn’t it? I haven’t seen you since school – what are you doing these days?”
“Well I’m just having a lunchtime pint with one of my colleagues; I’m working for Calor Gas; what about you?”
“We’re having a profs day out in the sticks; I’m professor of Logic at University College London.”
“Professor of Logic! What’s that all about then?”
“Well, let me give you an example. Have you got a pond?”
“Okay then, Logic says that if you’ve got a pond, you’ve probably got quite a large garden, and if you’ve got a large garden, you’ve probably got a large house.”
“Yes that’s right we do have quite a large house.”
“Logic then goes on to say that if you’ve got a large house, you’ve probably got a good income, and if you’ve got a good income, you’ve probably got a very attractive wife.”
“Yes that’s absolutely right, my wife’s beautiful.”
“Logic then goes on to say that if you’ve got an attractive wife, you probably have a fulfilling sex life and that you hardly ever masturbate.”
“Yes we have fantastic sex, I never masturbate.”
“There you are then, that’s Logic, one thing leads on to another in a logical progression.”
“Twist old friend, that was very interesting – I think I’d better be getting back to my colleague now, he’s looking over at us; here’s my card, let’s keep in touch and meet up sometime soon.” They exchanged cards and went their separate ways.
When Streaters got back to his colleague he said, “yes that was my old school friend; he’s done ever-so well for himself, he’s professor of Logic at University College London.”
“Professor of Logic! What’s that all about?” said the work colleague.
“Well, let me give you an example. Have you got a pond?” asked Streaters.
“Oh, you’re a wanker then!”
A Celebration of The Life of Brian. Brian ‘Streaters’ Streatfield, born 4th October 1938 – 25th July 2014. He was like an Uncle to me, he was a dear, dear friend and I loved him very much.
This series of ‘Pub Jokes’ marked Streaters is my little tribute to a man who loved a pint in a good pub; he was also the bloke that I loved to have a pint with, and I’ll miss him forever. Rest in peace you old ‘B’