Boris Johnson wins President Erdogan Offensive Poetry competition

boris johnson

Boris Johnson wins The Spectator’s President Erdogan Offensive Poetry competition.

Boris Johnson and Sirs at The Spectator, that really was such a massive stitch-up, or to quote the man himself, who recently criticised David Cameron by saying, “This is a bigger stitch-up than the Bayeux Tapestry.” However, let’s be realistic, I’m sure the choice was ‘semi-political’, and anyway, I wouldn’t want to be ‘named’ and summoned to the court of the Turkish Sultan Erdogan, like poor old Jan Böhmermann and be given a turkey slap.

Anyway, I thought I’d write kindly riposte (Recep Tayyip Erdoğan the President of Turkey is unable to do this because his time is being taken up designing and building a new petting zoo in Ankara. Oh, and he has absolutely no sense of humour):

Boris Johnson

The glamorous politician Bo Johnson,
Like a Minoan he can leap over oxen,
However, his rhyme was a crime,
And he should do some time,
That glamorous politician Bo Johnson.

I wrote about five limericks for the competition, two of which I sent in to The Spectator. They’re far too rude for my website folks. Send me a Twitter message, and I’ll send them to you :-) xXx

HABB – The Hair and Beauty Benevolent

HABB – The Hair and Beauty Benevolent is the official charity for the hairdressing industry that helps hairdressers in need.

Since it launched in 1853, HABB has always been there for hairdressers, many of whom had nowhere else to turn. It still sees more than 200 applications each year – including students.

Please Support and Follow HABB on:


Thinking Of Going Blonde This Summer?


What I love about Marilyn is that she has been so many different shades of blonde – Golden, Ash, Champagne, Honey, Bleached, Strawberry, Platinum and White Blonde – you’ve got to love that in a person. This image: Marilyn Monroe by Bert Stern (the last sitting, June 1962) is a White Blond (Bleach + 6% / 20 vol peroxide + toner).

Thinking of going blonde this Summer? Thought I’d point out the different versions for you :) There are three main categories: warm (red spectrum), cool(blue/green spectrum) and neutral!

Varieties of Blonde:

Flaxen Blonde: the original neutral, natural blonde. Very light but not white blonde.

Yellow Blonde: obviously a blonde with a yellow hue – slightly gold maybe, hopefully! At its very best a Champagne Blonde.

Platinum Blonde, White Blonde: often extremely light, a whitish looking blonde; almost all natural platinum blondes (tow-headed) are children. Technically, a platinum blonde is blueish and therefore a cold blonde. It is sometimes called a Silver Blonde.

Sandy Blonde: a beige blonde, a greyish-hazel or cream-coloured blonde – naturally warm. Makes beautiful, natural looking highlights.

Golden Blonde: includes pinks and yellows to create a slightly darker, rich, warm, golden-yellow blonde.

Strawberry Blonde, Venetian Blonde or Honey Blonde: think of red then add it to what you think of as blonde! It’s a reddish blonde.

Dirty Blonde, Dishwater Blonde, Grey Blonde, Mouse: a natural dark blonde that is the perfect background for highlights. Naturally includes flecks of golden blonde and brown, but is often flat and dull, and quite frankly, mousey.

Ash-Blonde: technically ash means green! However, green counteracts and neutralizes red. A cold and very natural looking blonde. It can come out as a smoky steel blonde.

Bleached Blonde, Peroxide Blonde: an artificial, yellowish blonde that is trying to be a platinum blonde, but it’s not. The base blonde of a ‘bleach and toner.’

Dark blonde: when natural, it looks a shade of light brown in the Winter and lightens in the Summer. If your natural colour was brown, but is now grey; go dark blonde. Yet another classic blonde for highlights.