Can You Do My Hair Like This?

Michael Fabricant Conservative MP for Lichfield

Michael Fabricant Conservative MP for Lichfield wrote on Huffington Post: A Message To The Luvvies – If You Can’t Say Anything Constructive, Don’t Say Anything At All@Mike_Fabricant

“Can you do my hair like this,” really is the classic client request! It’s one of those heartfelt, emotional pleas that goes something like this, “I want my hair to look totally natural, like Jennifer Aniston’s,” and there it is, that name, ‘Jennifer Aniston’, probably my most requested hairstyle! Over the years there have been many others, Jane Fonda, Joanna ‘Purdy’ Lumly and Farrah Fawcett have got to be up there with the most requested, as have Mary Quant’s French Bob and Mia Farrow’s urchin style cut.

My first ‘can you do my hair like this’ request, was in 1974 when I worked for Ricci Burns, for a Mia Farrow, who played Daisy Buchanan in The Great Gatsby. My saddest was in 1978, when a gaunt, mousy looking woman brandished a cut-out of Farrah Fawcett-Majors and said, “My husband wants me to look like this.”

Most hairdressers love pictures of celebrity hairstyles, they’re great conversation starters. I love them. However, all photographs need interpreting and putting into context: who’s the person. why was the photograph taken. what are they selling. is it their normal, everyday hair. has the image been altered, enhanced? And when I’m presented with a celebrity’s picture, my aim is to translate it into a style for my client.

Over the last ten years, or so, we’ve seen the rise of social media, which has had a profound impact on television, mainstream journalism, the celebrities themselves, and of course the general public. The image of the self (the selfie) – user-generated photos – take on a new meaning and importance – everyone and anyone can suddenly become a celebrity!

I find myself questioning celebrity culture; I wonder why so many celebrities feel they have the qualifications to tell us how to live our lives and what to think? Is it because they have transcended their own selfishness and become ‘global’ brands? (They’ve disappeared up their own arses and come out the other side, like a gurner in a horse collar.) Or is it because we all love a liberal nonconformist, an anti-establishment provocateur, a court jester on a short leash?

I feel that there’s a dichotomy between how celebrities like: Lily Allen, Russell Brand, Charlotte Church, Bob Geldof, Eddie Izzard (to name the bloody obvious, but there are many more), live their lives and how they expect us to (and how we are able to) live ours.

BTW, I’ve never been asked for a Michael Fabricant ;)

I Sing of Olaf

euro flag

E. E. CUMMINGS

I sing of Olaf glad and big
whose warmest heart recoiled at war:
a conscientious object-or

his wellbelovéd colonel (trig
westpointer most succinctly bred)
took erring Olaf soon in hand;
but-though an host of overjoyed
noncoms (first knocking on the head
him) do through icy waters roll
that helplessness which others stroke
with brushes recently employed
anent this muddy toiletbowl,
while kindred intellects evoke
allegiance per blunt instruments-
Olaf(being to all intents
a corpse and wanting any rag
upon what God unto him gave)
responds, without getting annoyed
“I will not kiss your fucking flag”

straightway the silver bird looked grave
(departing hurriedly to shave)

but-though all kinds of officers
(a yearning nation’s blueeyed pride)
their passive prey did kick and curse
until for wear their clarion
voices and boots were much the worse
and egged the firstclassprivates on
his rectum wickedly to tease
by means of skilfully applied
bayonets roasted hot with heat-
Olaf(upon what were once knees)
does almost ceaselessly repeat
“there is some shit I will not eat”

our president, being of which
assertions duly notified
threw the yellowsonofabitch
into a dungeon, where he died

Christ (of His mercy infinite)
i pray to see; and Olaf, too

preponderatingly because
unless statistics lie he was
more brave than me: more blond than you.

~

We Europeans have come a long way since The Great War
conscientious objectors-sip costa coffee
Ultras throw pissylittlebottles and vandalise
a beautiful but crooked game

and I will not kiss their fucking EU flag

Halide Edip Adivar & The Summer Cottage

My wife went to Halide Edip Adivar High School in Üskudar, so when I read Irmak Yenisehirlioglu’s tweet, I was very intrigued (BTW @Irmak_Ye is no longer on Twitter):

“In 1925, as Halide Edip Adivar (1884-1964) was writing her memoirs on a farm in England; not far away, Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) was working on ‘To the Lighthouse’. Halide wrote directly in English and Virginia was intimate with Vita Sackville-West.” paraphrase quote @Irmak_Ye 19 Jun 2016.

Halide Edip Adivar

Halide Edip Adivar (1884-1964) was a Turkish novelist, educational and social reformer, nationalist, and political leader for women’s rights. Best known for her novels criticizing the low social status of Turkish women and what she saw as the lack of interest of most women in changing their situation.

On what farm did Edip write her memoirs in 1925?

My journey to answer the question, “on what farm did Edip write her memoirs in 1925,” starts with Halide Edip Adivar’s book: ‘Memoirs of Halide Edib’ With a frontispiece in color by Alexandre Pankoff and many illustrations from photographs. Published: 4 April 1927? (exact publication date unknown) by The Century Co., New York & London.[1]

It was when I was skip reading Halide Edip’s memoirs that I realised I had opened up a can of worms of names and dates. But the first significant name to spring out at me was Miss Isabel Fry.

Isabel Fry (1869-1958)[2] was an educationalist, social worker and reformer. Born into a famous reforming Quaker family, she was one of nine children. She taught at Roedean (1891-95) with Constance de la Cherois Crommelin (later Mrs John Masefield (important)). In 1895-ish she moved to London with Constance Crommelin, and eventually founded a school in Marylebone Road.

In 1908/1909 Halide Edip Adivar stayed with Isabel in Marylebone Road, London. And subsequently, Isabel visited Turkey for the first time herself in 1908/1909, and stayed with Halide Edip for three weeks.

For me, the whole story of Halide Edip in England revolves around her enduring friendship with Isabel Fry. My God, how the rich and famous flit around the world – even in the early 1900s!

rectory farm

This is the house that I believe is Rectory Farm, Great Hampden

In 1909 Isabel Fry bought Rectory Farm, Great Hampden, Buckinghamshire as a ‘summer cottage’ with her friends the poet and novelist John Masefield and his wife Constance. “It’s a lovely little farm in Buckinghamshire, high up on a chalk hill surrounded by beech woods and common land, a very fresh, pretty, but rather bare and cold country like most chalk hills. Said Masefield in 1909.” Forever England: The Life of Rupert Brooke By Mike Read[3]

John Masefield wrote ‘Gallipoli’ 1916.

Rectory Farm is the farm where Masefield read to Halide Edip: “One is a scene of Mr. Masefield’s ‘Pompeii,’ which he read to me in Miss Fry’s farm-house at Hampden. It was not published then, and I have not read it since, but it impressed me as most forceful.” Memoirs of Halide Edib 1909

Clearly Halide Edip was strongly influenced by her visit to England in 1909. She had met Edward Granville Browne (1862-1926)[4], Henry Woodd Nevinson (1856-1941)[5], obviously John Edward Masefield (1878-1967)[6] and I would have thought Isabel Fry’s brother Roger Eliot Fry (1866-1934)[7], who was a member of the Bloomsbury Group[8], to which Virginia Woolf[9] belonged.

Just to say, Roger Fry lived just down the road from Isabel’s home on Marylebone Road at 33 Fitzroy Square, Fitzrovia, London W1T 6EU.

In June 1912 Halide Edip visited Isabel Fry again. Halide took a flat in Cambridge Terrace, Regents Park, London. Here she wrote ‘New Turan’ (Yeni Turan – 1912). And Isabel started to take deprived children to Rectory Farm, for holidays and teaching.

Cambridge TerraceCambridge Terrace a row of terraced mansions overlooking Regent’s Park, London Borough of Camden, London, England.

In 1914 Isabel Fry paid her second (and last) visit to Turkey, she sayed for one month. And John & Constance Masefield gave up Rectory Farm and moved to Lollingdon Farm in Berkshire.

In 1917 Isabel Fry founded The Farmhouse School, Mayortorne Manor, Wendover, Buckinghamshire. It was an experimental school in which training in farm and household duties were emphasised – She left in 1930.

In 1926 Halide Edib ‘and associates’ were accused of treason in Turkey! She and her husband escaped to Europe. They lived in Paris, London, the United States, and India from 1926 to 1939 when they returned to Turkey.

18th Century Mayortorne Manor, Wendover Dean, Buckinghamshire

Were the ‘Memoirs of Halide Edib’ (1926/1927) written here at The Farmhouse School, Mayortorne Manor, Wendover, Buckinghamshire or at Rectory Farm, Great Hampden? Image: courtesy Paul Buck via: Chiltern Way 8: Saunderton to Cow Roast

The Farmhouse School Children

The Farmhouse School children with goats. Image: © All Rights Reserved Ewart White (deceased 21 May 2013) – seeking permission.

Halide Edib’s ‘The Turkish ordeal: Being the further memoirs of Halide Edib’ published: The Century Co., New York & London 1928.

Halide Edib is the first Turkish author to publish a novel written firstly in English: The Clown and His Daughter (Sinekli Bakkal) published: Allen & Unwin, 1935 London.

Halide Edip Adivar returned to Turkey (1939), and became professor of English literature at the Faculty of Letters in Istanbul University. In 1950, she was elected to Parliament, resigning in 1954.

It is my view that Halide Edip (and maybe her husband Adnan Adivar – but I doubt it) spent time with Isabel Fry between 1926 and 1930 at The Farmhouse School in Buckinghamshire; and ask yourself this: did Isabel Fry leave Rectory Farm at the same time as the Masefields in 1914?

References

  1. Memoirs of Halide Edib – the book
  2. Isabel Fry
  3. Forever England: The Life of Rupert Brooke By Mike Read – Google Books
  4. Edward Granville Browne (1862-1926) on Wiki
  5. Henry Woodd Nevinson (1856-1941) on Wiki
  6. John Edward Masefield (1878-1967) on Wiki
  7. Roger Eliot Fry (1866-1934) on Wiki
  8. Bloomsbury Group on Wiki
  9. Virginia Woolf on Wiki

If you are out there Irmak, send me a message.

2 Reasons Why I Will Vote Leave

adolf hitler

Vote Leave #VoteLeave – it’s got nothing to do with WW1, WW2 or Adolf Hitler

Vote Leave on June 23

1. The main reason why I will Vote Leave on June 23 in the EU referendum is Greece! Greece is a great example of EU bollocks from the moment they applied to join. And the way that Germany has been allowed to get away with treating Greece so badly is almost criminal. Ordinary people like myself, can never fully understand the financial machinations of the EU because of the total lack of transparency. And with that in mind: The end result for Greece being: German and French banks benefiting from the EU bailouts that were intended to support the people of Greece! It seems to me that the EU commissioners and bankers are acting like the Borgias! Is this an example of EU social justice (I bet Anthony Wedgwood Benn is turning in his grave) – let’s look after the banks and bankers so the Euro doesn’t disappear up its own arse? Of course, the EU orders Britain to pay its share of the Greek bailout!

David Cameron: “I have sympathy for Greece, but it’s not for the UK to bail it out as we are not a member of the Euro Area.”

Angela Merkel: “For you Dave ze war is over; pay up und shut up.”

David Cameron: “Immediately mein Chancellor.” Clicks’ heels, nods’ head, puts’ left index finger between top lip and nose, et cetera et cetera.

1. My equal top reason I’ll Vote Leave is Project Fear and the establishment and media conspiracy to scare the daft British people shitless. (Which seems to be working!) Why are we SO under the cosh? Is standing up for an independent Britain, that’s free to trade with the so called global village – that every hippy talked about in the early 70s –  politically incorrect and tantamount to hanging an English flag out of ones window?

Then there are the mountain of lies about trade, the economy, house prices, jobs, security, the NHS, immigration, etc., the list is long – and it’s all creative-guesswork.

Seems to me that it’s not Great Britain, it’s Feeble Britain, “Ooh Betty, they said I might possibly lose £2,200 by 2020.”

1. My third equal top reason why I’ll be Voting to Leave is: I believe the EU undermines our wonderful and much envied British Democracy. Faceless, almost nameless, unelected EU commissioners make laws in secret that effect and treat all EU member states exactly the same. The ‘little man’, the ordinary person, wherever we are within the European Union doesn’t really get much of say at all, apart from voting for our MEP – who mainly don’t give a shit because they’ve got their snouts in the EU trough.

And can you imagine countries like Spain, for example, giving Catalonia an independence referendum like Scotland had on 18 September 2014? That is great British Democracy at work.

BTW, you have read Animal Farm (by George Orwell, pub. 1945) haven’t you?

2. I will Vote Leave to support the regeneration of British farming and fisheries. The Common Agricultural Policy is a typical EU subsidies con weighted in favour of French farmers – there I said it!

François Hollande: “UK farmers can go fuck themselves, apples Français are crunchier.”

(BUT NOT BETTER.)

I don’t expect you’re old enough to remember Le Crunch and the beginning of the decline of the UK apple industry. (Which I feel is symbolic of UK farming in general.) As soon as the common market opened up in the mid 1970s the out-for-a-profit supermarkets poured French Golden Delicious down our bloody throats. And because we’re guided by our wallets and not our brains, we allowed our apple and tree-fruit farming industry slip into decrepitude.

And if you’re thinking about cider apples and craft cider making, get real, it’s an industry run by the ‘big boys’ like the Dutch company Heineken, and not some Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall-esque, old Etonian from Gloucestershire.

The UK fishing industry went exactly the same way. I suppose it all started with the ‘Cod Wars’ in the late 1950s early 1960s (concerning the waters surrounding Iceland), no history lesson here, but it went on until we joined the common market in the mid 1970s (it ended in 1976).

Enter stage right the Common Fisheries Policy. When Iceland achieved its overall goal of protecting its waters, the fisheries policy of the EU meted out quotas and opened up the UK waters to the rest of Europe. The UK fishing industry was almost totally fucked! Obviously the CFP has been heavily criticised by UK fishermen, most of whom I expect to Vote Leave.

I could go on and on, yeah, I know I’m rambling, however they are the main reasons I will vote leave: Greece, sovereignty, democracy and my beloved cod & chips washed down with a bottle of Gwynt Y Ddraig’s Black Dragon cider.

Boris Johnson wins President Erdogan Offensive Poetry competition

boris johnson

Boris Johnson wins The Spectator’s President Erdogan Offensive Poetry competition.

Boris Johnson and Sirs at The Spectator, that really was such a massive stitch-up, or to quote the man himself, who recently criticised David Cameron by saying, “This is a bigger stitch-up than the Bayeux Tapestry.” However, let’s be realistic, I’m sure the choice was ‘semi-political’, and anyway, I wouldn’t want to be ‘named’ and summoned to the court of the Turkish Sultan Erdogan, like poor old Jan Böhmermann and be given a turkey slap.

Anyway, I thought I’d write kindly riposte (Recep Tayyip Erdoğan the President of Turkey is unable to do this because his time is being taken up designing and building a new petting zoo in Ankara. Oh, and he has absolutely no sense of humour):

Boris Johnson

The glamorous politician Bo Johnson,
Like a Minoan he can leap over oxen,
However, his rhyme was a crime,
And he should do some time,
That glamorous politician Bo Johnson.

I wrote about five limericks for the competition, two of which I sent in to The Spectator. They’re far too rude for my website folks. Send me a Twitter message, and I’ll send them to you :-) xXx

#ELLEfeminism Every Girl Needs Access To Education

Malala Yousafzai addressing the UN

As I don’t work in a salon, here’s a question I often get asked, “How do you keep up with fashion?”

The same way as I always have done; I keep a beady eye out for what is going on around me, and I read as many Online fashion magazines as possible!

A current favourite being Elle UK. Elle has a special place in my heart because at the start of my hairdressing career I did a session with Alexandra Bastedo (19 September 1974) for She magazine (Christmas issue. Photographer Chris Simpson)! Yeah I know She isn’t Elle, but in those days we used to say, She was the English version of Elle (French) – it wasn’t, actually Elle was always better, it didn’t just reflect fashion, Elle decreed it! And I’ve been an avid reader for too many years.

Okay, so I’m reading Elle UK, and I’m reading The feminist hashtags that matter in 2015 by Kenya Hunt (@KenyaNHunt). Kenya writes eloquently about seven Twitter hashtags that actually affect you: #PeriodsAreNotAnInsult, #TheEmptyChair, #SayHerName, #GirlsWithToys, #NotGuilty, #EffYourBeautyStandards and #HeforShe.

However the big feminist hashtag, that I believe effects Everyone, #GirlsEducation was very sadly missing – Every girl needs access to education.

Anyway, it was a good read Kenya

Remembering John Edward Robson and the Atomic Bomb

hiroshima-peace-park

We don’t have a picture of John Edward Robson

On this day when the world is remembering Hiroshima and commemorating the 70th anniversary of the first atomic bomb being dropped; I will be remembering my father’s brother (my uncle!) John Edward Robson, (Aircraftman 1st Class, 84 Squadron, Royal Air Force Volunteer Reserve) who died on 29th November 1943, aged 31. He was the son of James Byers Robson and Lily Agnes Robson; husband of Elsie Robson, of Ambleside, Westmorland and father to Kathleen.

John Edward Robson was a Japanese POW, he died on the ‘Hell Ship’ Suez Maru:

In 1943, the Japanese decided to ship the sick back to Java. A total of 640 men, including a number of Japanese sick patients, were taken on board the 4,645-ton passenger-cargo ship Suez Maru. In two holds, 422 sick British (including 221 RAF servicemen) and 127 sick Dutch prisoners, including up to twenty stretcher cases, were accommodated. The Japanese patients filled the other two holds.

Escorted by a minesweeper W-12, the Suez Maru set sail from Port Amboina but while entering the Java Sea and about 327 kilometres east of Surabaya, Java, Netherlands East Indies, the vessel was torpedoed by the American submarine USS Bonefish commanded by Cdr. Tom Hogan. The ship started to list as water poured into the holds drowning hundreds, many managed to escape the holds and swam away from the sinking ship. The Japanese mine sweeper W-12 picked up the Japanese survivors, leaving between 200 and 250 men in the sea. At 14.50, the minesweeper, W-12, under orders from Captain Kawano, opened fire, using a machine gun and rifles. Rafts and lifeboats were then rammed and sunk by the W-12. The firing did not cease till all the prisoners were killed, the minesweeper then picked up speed and sped off towards Batavia (Jakarta) at 16.30 hours.

Sixty-nine Japanese had died during the attack, 93 Japanese soldiers and 205 Japanese sick patients were rescued by the Japanese. Of the 547 British and Dutch prisoners, there is reported to be one survivor, a British soldier, Kenneth Thomas, who was picked up twenty-four hours later by the Australian minesweeper HMAS Ballarat, this has not been confirmed. Via Suez Maru Roll of Honour

Remembering John Edward Robson who is commemorated on Column 428 of the Singapore Memorial and the Atomic Bomb, Lest We Forget

Barber-Surgeons Set To Re-emerge?

Barber-Surgeons by Rebecca Hiscocks

Barber-Surgeons by Rebecca Hiscocks, artwork based on the anatomical etchings of William Cheselden (1788-1752) – member of the London Company of Barber-Surgeons.

Jayne McCubbin @Mrsmachack tweeted:

Jayne McCubbin got a bit of stick for that tweet, but the truth is, hairdressers have been looking after their clients’ health for hundreds of years. This Is Not New – The red and white striped barber’s pole, blood and bandages, is symbolic of the association with the barber-surgeons of medieval Britain.

BTW, have a gander at: Public health workforce in local community.

And what operations would the barber-surgeon perform? Obviously, hair cutting and shaving! Removing head lice, extracting teeth, blood-letting and any number of lancing procedures like boils, abscesses and cysts – to name but a few. Barber-surgeons were called upon partly because of their dexterity with the razor and partly because they were cheaper than real surgeons.

Today, hairdressers can act as unpaid, untrained psychotherapists!! We often spend our days being unloaded on, listening intently to our clients’ trials and tribulations – and of course we still spot head lice. But there’s more: dandruff (when severe seborrhoeic dermatitis), cradle cap (a form of dandruff that affects infants), ringworm (fungal infection, not a worm), folliculitis (bacterial infection of the hair follicles), psoriasis (a non-contagious skin condition), lichen planus (non-infectious skin disease) and many more of the indeterminate fleshy lump variety!

However, I’d love to point out to all Jayne McCubbin’s naysayers, A Haircut Could Save Your Life – many hairdressers can already identify melanoma; but I think all hairdressers in the future should be trained to spot the signs of skin cancer – I see more and more.

I do like the idea of Barber Barber jokes though:

Barber Barber every time I sneeze it goes CASHEW!
Obviously your nutty!

Barber Barber I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together man!

Barber Barber can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!

Barber Barber everyone I meet thinks I’m a fucking liar.
No I’m sorry, I can’t believe that!

Barber Barber everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next please!

Barber Barber I feel like a pack of cards.
The juniors will deal with you later!

Barber Barber I keep feeling like I’m a packet of Ritz.
Yes, I think you’re a little crackers!

Barber Barber I keep thinking I’m a vampire.
Necks please!

Barber Barber I keep thinking I’m invisible.
Who the fuck said that?

Barber Barber I need something to keep my hair in.
Here’s a shoe box!

Barber Barber I think I need glasses.
You certainly do; this is the doctors!

Barber Barber I keep thinking I’m a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!

Barber Barber I think I’m shrinking!
Settle down son; you’ll just have to be a little patient.

Barber Barber I’m a kleptomaniac.
Take these pills, and if they don’t work, nick me a laptop!

Barber Barber I’ve got a problem with my waterworks.
Have you seen a plumber?

Barber Barber I’ve lost my memory.
When did this happen?
When did what happen?

Barber Barber it hurts when I do this.
Don’t do that!

Barber Barber my baby’s swallowed a bullet.
Don’t point it at anyone until I get there!

Barber Barber there’s a strawberry growing out of the top of my head.
I’ve got some cream for that!

Barber Barber you have to help me out.
My pleasure, which way did you come in?

Barber Barber I keep seeing into the future.
When did all this start?
Next Tuesday!

Barber Barber I’m addicted to brake fluid.
Nonsense, you can stop any time!

Barber Barber I’ve just swallowed a roll of film.
Come back in the morning and we’ll see what has developed!

Barber Barber I think I’m a bell.
Take two of these and if it’s not better tomorrow, give me a ring!

Actually, what I’d like to see is more people being empathetic and caring; it doesn’t take five minutes to say, “Hello, how are you?” …Then one must listen – we’re all in this together ;-) x

Turkish Contemporary Artist Sukran Moral

Sukran Moral - ArtistThe Artist – Şükran Moral 1994
Photograph courtesy of Sukran Moral

The Lovely Irmak Yenisehirlioglu tweeted a link to Sukran Moral’s ‘My Pain My Rebellion’ exhibition at the KODE Art Museums of Bergen (30th October 2015 – 28th March 2016) (wish I could afford to get there and see it), I followed it and I was enthralled. And I searched Google and I read and I was held captive by Sukran Moral’s art.

As a hairdresser I am interested in feminism, I’m a feminist! There is nothing odd about that, I’ve been working with and for women for many years – Those of you who know me very well, will also know that I’m a keen artist: my themes being: change, religion, feminism, misogyny and memory.

My next sculpture will be a portrait of the artist Şükran Moral (pronunciation Shukran), there will be reference to the crucifixion, FGM and how I feel about the way women are being treated by Islamic State (IS) – which in my humble opinion, reflects much of what Sukran Moral is about, I’ll do some research first ;-) x

Şükran Moral (Wiki) is a Turkish contemporary artist, she’s powerful and political, thought provoking, edgy and comes with a parental advisory warning label – I like that!