Me Smoking Aged 2.5

Me Smoking

This is an old and very faded Black and White photograph taken (developed and enlarged) by my father, of me smoking – No Dates!

We were having a picnic at a place we called Buffalo Creek, in Tobruk, Libya. I had fallen into the sea from a cliff and my father had dragged me out, saving my two year old life. Then he tried to kill me by giving me a Capstan full strength cigarette, while they all looked on and took happy snaps of me smoking! Yeah, I was ill afterwards – Happy days.

Oh, and BTW, I hate smoking and I’m pleased they’ve banned it in public places!

Barber-Surgeons Set To Re-emerge?

Barber-Surgeons by Rebecca Hiscocks

Barber-Surgeons by Rebecca Hiscocks, artwork based on the anatomical etchings of William Cheselden (1788-1752) – member of the London Company of Barber-Surgeons.

Jayne McCubbin @Mrsmachack tweeted:

Jayne McCubbin got a bit of stick for that tweet, but the truth is, hairdressers have been looking after their clients’ health for hundreds of years. This Is Not New – The red and white striped barber’s pole, blood and bandages, is symbolic of the association with the barber-surgeons of medieval Britain.

BTW, have a gander at: Public health workforce in local community.

And what operations would the barber-surgeon perform? Obviously, hair cutting and shaving! Removing head lice, extracting teeth, blood-letting and any number of lancing procedures like boils, abscesses and cysts – to name but a few. Barber-surgeons were called upon partly because of their dexterity with the razor and partly because they were cheaper than real surgeons.

Today, hairdressers can act as unpaid, untrained psychotherapists!! We often spend our days being unloaded on, listening intently to our clients’ trials and tribulations – and of course we still spot head lice. But there’s more: dandruff (when severe seborrhoeic dermatitis), cradle cap (a form of dandruff that affects infants), ringworm (fungal infection, not a worm), folliculitis (bacterial infection of the hair follicles), psoriasis (a non-contagious skin condition), lichen planus (non-infectious skin disease) and many more of the indeterminate fleshy lump variety!

However, I’d love to point out to all Jayne McCubbin’s naysayers, A Haircut Could Save Your Life – many hairdressers can already identify melanoma; but I think all hairdressers in the future should be trained to spot the signs of skin cancer – I see more and more.

I do like the idea of Barber Barber jokes though:

Barber Barber every time I sneeze it goes CASHEW!
Obviously your nutty!

Barber Barber I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together man!

Barber Barber can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!

Barber Barber everyone I meet thinks I’m a fucking liar.
No I’m sorry, I can’t believe that!

Barber Barber everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next please!

Barber Barber I feel like a pack of cards.
The juniors will deal with you later!

Barber Barber I keep feeling like I’m a packet of Ritz.
Yes, I think you’re a little crackers!

Barber Barber I keep thinking I’m a vampire.
Necks please!

Barber Barber I keep thinking I’m invisible.
Who the fuck said that?

Barber Barber I need something to keep my hair in.
Here’s a shoe box!

Barber Barber I think I need glasses.
You certainly do; this is the doctors!

Barber Barber I keep thinking I’m a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!

Barber Barber I think I’m shrinking!
Settle down son; you’ll just have to be a little patient.

Barber Barber I’m a kleptomaniac.
Take these pills, and if they don’t work, nick me a laptop!

Barber Barber I’ve got a problem with my waterworks.
Have you seen a plumber?

Barber Barber I’ve lost my memory.
When did this happen?
When did what happen?

Barber Barber it hurts when I do this.
Don’t do that!

Barber Barber my baby’s swallowed a bullet.
Don’t point it at anyone until I get there!

Barber Barber there’s a strawberry growing out of the top of my head.
I’ve got some cream for that!

Barber Barber you have to help me out.
My pleasure, which way did you come in?

Barber Barber I keep seeing into the future.
When did all this start?
Next Tuesday!

Barber Barber I’m addicted to brake fluid.
Nonsense, you can stop any time!

Barber Barber I’ve just swallowed a roll of film.
Come back in the morning and we’ll see what has developed!

Barber Barber I think I’m a bell.
Take two of these and if it’s not better tomorrow, give me a ring!

Actually, what I’d like to see is more people being empathetic and caring; it doesn’t take five minutes to say, “Hello, how are you?” …Then one must listen – we’re all in this together ;-) x

Whatever Happened To Charlie Kemp

Maril Kemp, Laraine Ashton, London Peter Marlowe Models Composite ©Maril – A Peter Marlowe Models Composite © copyright Peter Marlowe, All Rights Reserved.

I was trawling through a pile of old Composites when I came upon Maril Kemp’s – Whatever happened to Maril’s husband, the fashion photographer Charles Kemp? The last time I saw Charlie was in 1989-1990, he was walking down Grafton Way towards Tottenham Court Road, we stopped and talked for about five minutes (I think he’d been to University College Hospital?); I was in a hurry because my car needed moving, “You’re looking old” I said. “Fuck off” he said. “I’ll ring you later” I said, but sadly I didn’t.

I’ve got a bad feeling about Charlie Kemp!

© Model: Maril Kemp, Photographer: Charles Kemp Friday 24th July 1981, Hair: Ian Robson. London
Maril Kemp July 1981

At the end of a test session with Debbie Benson, Maril, Charlie and I did a session at his studio on Friday 24th July 1981 (so my diary tells me. A strange coincidence: Greta Almroth the Swedish actress died on 24:07:1981 (aged 93) in Stockholm, Sweden). I’ve a feeling I did the make-up as well, but it doesn’t look like my style so maybe I didn’t. The idea was to give Maril a more edgy look!

BTW here’s a styling tip, wearing your hair pulled back helps to highlight the cheekbones and elongate the face, which can either make your face look thinner and/or more balanced.

Anyway, it was around this time that Maril became a dangerous distraction for drivers as she lay semi-naked on a billboard on the A4, West Cromwell Road, Earls Court (I think she was advertising Bergasol tanning lotion) – Charlie and I drove past it, flat out at about 35 mph, in his Renault 4! Happy days – are you out there Charlie? :) xxx

Charlie Kemp
One of my favourite photos

[edit: 3rd June 13] Maril has informed me that Charlie died last year. Absolutely heartbreaking news. Rest in peace you old B x

Curly Hair And How To Sort It

© Model: Cassie, Photographer: Chris Roberts 1981, Hair: Ian Robson. London

Curly Hair

If you have curly hair and are having problems with it, the reason is usually the cut. A precision hair cut combined with the correct hair style will almost always get the right result. If not, you may need a perm to unify the wave – which may sound a little odd! Curly hair needs special handling; if you want your hair to be curly and not a frizzy puff ball, don’t brush or comb it when your hair is dry. In fact, hardly touch curly hair when it’s dry, otherwise the curls will break-up and become fluffy; use some form of product like a spray-on gel, which will help to create a lasting texture.

Movement, texture and body can be added to curly hair with highlights. Highlights can really enhance curly hair; however, I don’t recommend highlights for frizzy hair.

Frizzy Hair

Curly hair can go frizzy with moisture and a gust of wind. But I am not talking about curly hair, I am talking about hair that is naturally frizzy. This type of hair is crinkly, not curly, it looks dry and damaged although it is not. You need help, a consultation, a truly wonderful hair cut, straightening irons and some form of frizz ease.

Frizz Ease

Apply 1.5ml of oil (any oil, Baby to Mazola – I like grapeseed oil) to the scalp / hair-roots after washing when still wet, this will eliminate most frizz. Note: it will take the oil about three hours to work after applying it to the scalp. For an extra smooth finish also use a setting gel or mousse. The combination of 1.5ml Mazola corn oil and a setting gel or mousse is as good and cheaper than John Frieda’s Frizz-Ease. BTW, I like Frizz-Ease® 3 Day Straight™ Semi-Permanent Styling Spray.